What Tina Brown Would Look LIke if She Were a Real Journalist

Well, this week Tina Brown did it again: using the cover of Newsweek to court controversy in the hope of saving the magazine, albeit at the expense of what’s left of the newsweekly’s reputation.  Knowing her penchant for photoshopped hypotheticals, I thought it’d be interesting to explore what Tina might look like, were she actually a legitimate journalist. The results are as creepy as a resurrected Diana clutching an iPhone.

(From top-left: Walter Cronkite, Nellie Bly, Edward R. Murrow, Woodward and Bernstein, Christiane Amanpour, and Diane Sawyer)

22 August 2012 ·

Today in magazine covers from the future:  I already made a statement regarding this week’s controversial Newsweek cover story, but since the  outrage  continues, I thought I’d engage my flux capacitor (read: Photoshop) to bring you one more contribution.

Today in magazine covers from the future:  I already made a statement regarding this week’s controversial Newsweek cover story, but since the  outrage  continues, I thought I’d engage my flux capacitor (read: Photoshop) to bring you one more contribution.

29 June 2011 ·

alittlespace:

Oh my God, Newsweek.

Dear Princess Diana,
Hey, it’s me, Tina Brown, editor-in-chief of Newsweek.  We both talk the same way, so we’re kinda BFFs.  Guess what, I’m going to write an article about your life, assuming you hadn’t died back in 1997!  I got the idea just now, when I was playing with my Lady Di action figure during bath-time, and I realized I could make you do whatever I wanted.  Did you know that in 2011 you’ll be able to hold your breath for 7 minutes?
More good news: you’ve got an iPhone, a white one, because—you know—you’re still classy after all these years.  Bad news: you’ve remarried twice and you use Botox.  Don’t worry, Di, I’m going to make sure to use this piece to plug my book about you, talk about swanky parties I’ve gone to, and drop a few names.  If you were still alive, you would want me to write about myself under the auspices of writing about you.
Oh, I can’t wait for you to read this bullshit fluff masquerading as journalism article!  You’re just going to die!  Er, well…you know what I mean.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to set your action figure aside, so I can hold this shower-head under the water at just the right angle.  Ta-ta!
Your pal and princess of hypotheticals,Tina 

alittlespace:

Oh my God, Newsweek.

Dear Princess Diana,

Hey, it’s me, Tina Brown, editor-in-chief of Newsweek.  We both talk the same way, so we’re kinda BFFs.  Guess what, I’m going to write an article about your life, assuming you hadn’t died back in 1997!  I got the idea just now, when I was playing with my Lady Di action figure during bath-time, and I realized I could make you do whatever I wanted.  Did you know that in 2011 you’ll be able to hold your breath for 7 minutes?

More good news: you’ve got an iPhone, a white one, because—you know—you’re still classy after all these years.  Bad news: you’ve remarried twice and you use Botox.  Don’t worry, Di, I’m going to make sure to use this piece to plug my book about you, talk about swanky parties I’ve gone to, and drop a few names.  If you were still alive, you would want me to write about myself under the auspices of writing about you.

Oh, I can’t wait for you to read this bullshit fluff masquerading as journalism article!  You’re just going to die!  Er, well…you know what I mean.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to set your action figure aside, so I can hold this shower-head under the water at just the right angle.  Ta-ta!

Your pal and princess of hypotheticals,
Tina 

27 June 2011 ·

The Simpsons weighs in on the state of Newsweek and the job market.

(Thanks, to Braiker for bringing this to our attention!)

10 May 2011 ·

“‘Don’t come here unless you’re balls to the wall!’ So now we call it ‘B to the W!’ We say, ‘Is he B to the W?’ Because otherwise someone comes in and says, ‘Well, two days a week I have to teach at NYU…’ And we say, Not B to the W.’”

Tina Brown discussing her and Kathy O’Hearn’s (VP of Events and Video) idea of the right kind of person to be working for the Newsweek/Daily Beast Company.

"You mean you want to educate young people about our craft? Sorry, you can’t work here. You’re not B to the W."

Also, speaking as someone who actually has “Bs” I wouldn’t want to put them against a crumbling “W.” Just saying.

6 May 2011 ·

Newsweek Owner Sidney Harman Has Died

I can’t help but think that this is because he found out I was leaving the company tomorrow.  I feel guilty.

(Source: newsweek, via jessbennett)

13 April 2011 ·

I’ll be live-blogging the Oscars for Newsweek tonight. If you haven’t checked out our amazing Oscar page, do so immediately! There’s an interactive list of all the nominees, featuring trailers for all the films. You can watch clips from our Oscar roundtable, which included James Franco, Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams, and more. And, of course, I’ll be there providing commentary on the entire ceremony, trying not to say anything that will get me fired.

I’ll be live-blogging the Oscars for Newsweek tonight. If you haven’t checked out our amazing Oscar page, do so immediately! There’s an interactive list of all the nominees, featuring trailers for all the films. You can watch clips from our Oscar roundtable, which included James Franco, Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams, and more. And, of course, I’ll be there providing commentary on the entire ceremony, trying not to say anything that will get me fired.

27 February 2011 ·

This is how Newsweek rolls on a Tuesday night.

This is how Newsweek rolls on a Tuesday night.

15 February 2011 ·

Newsweekers Investigate Luxury Condoms

As a Valentine’s Day gift to you, we passed around some luxury condoms (made by French aristocrats) to get opinions from some of our staffers around the newsroom.  So is there really a market for posh prophylactics?  Watch the video to find out!  Happy Valentine’s Day!

P.S. There is a taste-test included.

14 February 2011 ·

Found in the Newsweek Offices


Newsweek playing cards! Each card features a cover from 1997. And check out those jokers! Very cheeky, Newsweek. Very cheeky, indeed.

Found in the Newsweek Offices

Newsweek playing cards! Each card features a cover from 1997. And check out those jokers! Very cheeky, Newsweek. Very cheeky, indeed.

5 January 2011 ·

About Me

A filmmaker, journalist, and freelance video producer in NYC named Ryan Jones, who also goes by K. Ryan Jones for professional and pretentious reasons. He reads books, waxes poetic about old Nickelodeon shows, and at certain times of the day has no clothes on.
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