• Context: My brother left 9 Vicodin in our apt. when he moved back to KS. Also, my mom is in town visiting.
  • Mom: How're you feeling this morning?
  • Me: Mom, I took a Vicodin earlier and that knocked the hangover right out.
  • Mom: You're crazy. Maybe if you didn't drink so much you wouldn't have to do drugs the next day.
  • Me: Mooommmm! I didn't drink last night! How dare you?
  • Mom: Why'd you have to take a Vicodin, then?
  • Me: Allergies.
  • Mom: You said you were hungover.
  • Me: That's New York slang for allergies.

30 April 2011 ·

A Concerned Mother of the Digital Age

Context: I’m making a trip to Kansas next week to see friends and forget about life for awhile.

(Conversation via text messaging):

Mom: Good morning! I’m concerned about you.  No blog posts, no texts, no phone calls.  RU OK?

Me: There’s no point in living now that KU is out of the tournament.  I gave away my guitar and I’m using all my severance to buy alcohol and a trip to Vegas, where I’ll spend my remaining days with Elisabeth Shue.

Mom: I thought you were going to Kansas, and who’s Elisabeth Shue?

Please note that my mom doesn’t seem too worried about the giving away of possessions (maybe because she knows I don’t actually own a guitar) and the other suicidal signals.  She’s mostly concerned with my travel plans and who this Elisabeth Shue character is.  And I know my mom has seen The Saint, so I’m not sure where her head’s at on that one.

29 March 2011 ·

About Me

A filmmaker, journalist, and freelance video producer in NYC named Ryan Jones, who also goes by K. Ryan Jones for professional and pretentious reasons. He reads books, waxes poetic about old Nickelodeon shows, and at certain times of the day has no clothes on.