It’s me, Ryan Jones, your faithful follower for nearly two decades. I just want to pre-order my iPhone. Yes, I work at Newsweek and am accessing your site from a Newsweek computer. Do you not like us? I know maybe you get a little irked with Dan Lyons and the Fake Steve Jobs thing, but, come on, have a sense of humor about yourself. If that’s too much to ask, can you at least give me a break? I never made a blog pretending to be your CEO. Enough with the error messages, especially the one that says I’ve been inactive or idle for too long. That’s an outright lie! I’ve been nothing but active for you all morning. I’m dancing as fast as I can for you, and all you do is look the other way and tell me I’m late on the three-count.
Hear my fervent pleas, sweet Malus domestica, and let me proceed through your pre-order labyrinth!
All my love and frustration,